December 3, 2010

FIFA's "I'm Keith Hernandez" moment

On Thursday December 2nd, FIFA (the world's governing body of soccer) announced their decision to hold the 2018 and 2022 World Cup Finals in Russia and Qatar, respectively. While the choice of Russia is not completely out-of-character for the event, choosing to place the finals in Qatar represents a radical departure from past precedent. Qatar is a tiny nation with virtually no stadiums, no soccer culture, a litany of human logistical concerns (average summer temperature over 100 F, Sharia law in full effect, dangerously close proximity to violent locations, etc.), and a population roughly equivalent to Milwaukee's. Short of divine intervention, nothing can be done to change these things in twelve years.

Why on earth did FIFA make this choice? On the surface, there is no logical reason to choose Qatar to host the world's biggest sporting event. But FIFA is no longer looking at the surface of things. The World Cup is no longer about soccer, parties, or even the crass standard of the past.... making money. Now, the FIFA selections are all about ego.

When it started, the World Cup was simply a soccer tournament. From the beginning, the decision of where to hold it was contentious. However, back then the decision usually boiled down to who could actually hope to at least break even on the cost of hosting. It is easily forgotten that the first world cup contained a mere 13 teams, largely because several nations balked at the cost of sending their teams to Uruguay. The locations of the '50, '54, and '58 tournaments were chosen mostly to avoid the mess that much of Europe found itself in after WWII.

After time, however, the tournament's growing popularity made it into the cash cow for FIFA, and the tournament was positioned in places to actually make a profit for organizers, rather than merely break even. Eventually, FIFA was starting to rake in cash from both the tournament and rights fees. That emboldened it to stretch out to even more potentially lucrative locations, such as the USA in 1994 and Japan/South Korea in 2002. But even then, there was always the foremost concern that the tournament be properly hosted, that the atmosphere matched the expectations, and that the sponsors were happy.

That changed with the selection of South Africa to host in 2010. There was simply no conceivable way that South Africa would match the atmosphere of the arenas elsewhere in the world. There were too many logistical issues to think that the tournament would be a money-maker. But FIFA was forced to pay some political capital back to the African federations, and they wanted the highest-profile event on African soil. They succeeded, but at the cost of the tournament itself. Generally poor soccer, half-empty stadiums and the incessant vuvuzela wail remain the legacy of World Cup 2010. But FIFA learned a lesson. Despite all the problems, the tournament still came off without any major disruptions, and they still made money. The lesson FIFA has taken to heart is that they can run a successful World Cup anywhere. FIFA now believes they can make ANY location work. The criteria for selecting sites is now about.... what?

To hear the Brits (denied the opportunity to host in 2018 by the Russia decision) tell it, the selection is all about back-room deals and manila folders full of cash. They may be right. It is no coincidence that the Russia and Qatar bids were the most expensive (by far). It is no coincidence that both Russia and Qatar have essentially promised FIFA to pay them for their troubles, regardless of how the tournament works out. But I think money was essentially secondary to something else.

A revealing item is the remark in the FIFA "technical committee's" evaluation of the USA's bid to host the 2022 finals. After exhaustive praise of the available facilities, infrastructure, and growing soccer culture, the committee dinged the US for the horrendous crime of "less than full government support." In other words, the US had not given FIFA a blank check to do whatever they wanted within US borders for the tournament. The US government had not knelt sufficiently at the FIFA altar. As it turns out, the same fate befell the British bid. They were supposedly neck-and-neck with the Spanish and Russian bids until British papers exposed some corrupt practices of a couple FIFA executive committee members. In apparent retribution, England was the first nation eliminated from consideration. According to many well-substantiated reports, "How dare they examine us!?!?!" was the theme expressed by many FIFA members. FIFA was more impressed by how well the various bid committees prostrated themselves before the almighty FIFA than by any other factor.

Which is where FIFA stands today. They're about FIFA, not soccer, and not even money. In the famous Seinfeld episode, Keith Hernandez encourages himself with, "I'm Keith Hernandez!". (See http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=I%27m%20Keith%20Hernandez). FIFA just did the same thing. It could've given the World Cup Finals to countries where it was guaranteed to have fantastic tournaments with big crowds and good times. It could've guaranteed itself a huge payday and few headaches. Instead, it chose to put the World Cup in Russia and Qatar. Why? Because "We're FIFA, and we can do whatever the heck we want!" If FIFA decides that it can hold a tournament in > 100 degree summer heat in a small desert with no stadiums, then by golly... it CAN! And nobody will tell it differently!

There are some (especially within FIFA itself) who will applaud these decisions as "expanding" the scope of the game and trying to bring in new audiences. Others will portray the locations as opportunities to open up previously closed societies. Both reasons are irrelevant. The real reason that the World Cup Finals are scheduled to travel to Russia and Qatar is that the FIFA hierarchy is now a bunch of Godfather types looking for whoever will kneel down and kiss their rings. Flush with money and success, they believe they can do whatever they want. And mark my words, it will come back to haunt them. Russia may be able to pull off a decent tournament, but 2022 is destined to be a total disaster, the likes of which no World Cup finals has ever seen. Thank the hubris of FIFA executives, who apparently believe themselves to be divine.

SAH

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